3 Critical things to Remember when Dating

Hello, and welcome to this week's dating discussion. I’m T. Naomi your dating coach specializing in life and relationship wholeness.  In a recent blog I discussed the importance of being aware while dating and briefly touched on the subject of the 3 C’s of dating. In this blog we’ll discuss what they are and why you should never date without them.

What are the 3’C’s of dating? The 3’C’s of dating are Communication, Consideration, and Consistency.

Communication

How many times have you experienced relationships where not one of these necessary components were present? Let’s look at some examples. When you date you need to be able to effectively and comfortably communicate. This means that the level of communication should not only be easy for you to understand but should also be an enjoyable experience.

This is something you can detect instantly. When you’re talking to someone, the conversation should not be strained, and you shouldn’t be the one doing all the talking.  I understand that some of us are better conversationalist than others and that’s ok. However, you should be able to express those things that need to be said as well as discover things about each other that are vital to your relationship.

When you first meet the focus tends to be on impressing your date. So, in the initial stages there tends to be a lot of light weight shallow conversation. But eventually after you feel each other out you’ll need to prepare yourself to go deeper because you simply can’t stay in the shallow end.

I’ve heard so many people say they’ve gone out with guys that only wanted to talk about themselves. So, they ended up being a soundboard. This is not a good situation. If you start out this way - this is the way it will be. So, don’t put yourself in that position. A person who only wants to talk about themselves is also someone who can’t seem to get their mind off themselves. In a situation like this you’ll only feel like you’re being used – and you are. When a person is really interested in you, they’ll want to know more about you.

Consideration

How does consideration fit into the equation and why is it so important? When a person is truly interested in you and has good intentions, they’ll call when they say they will. They’ll follow through with plans. They’ll never leave you hanging. They’ll keep the line of communication open. They’ll come to you and not always expect you to come to them. They’ll be proud to take you out and show you off to the world. Not just call you after midnight. They’ll want to spend time with you.

Consistency

These days men have a lot of iron’s in the fire – so to speak. Meaning they’re multitasking when it comes to dating. It’s any bodies guess how many women they’re texting at the same time they’re texting you. However, it doesn’t really matter as long as you uphold your standard.

If a guy is calling consistently when you first meet for a whole week and then the next week, he’s MIA – that’s a problem. This is a clear sign of a lack of consistency and consideration and is what I call a red flag. Also, I advise that communication not be based solely on text messages. This does not personalize your experience.

When a person is consistent in their actions it builds your level of trust and also speaks for their character and level of stability. Also, it lets you know they’re totally serious about you, enjoy your company, and have you on their mind.

When they’re not consistent you experience the exact opposite. You question they’re intentions and whether they’re really interested.

Tip

Let’s review and give some tips.

Don’t date someone who only wants to text. (There’s no substitute for the human voice.)

Don’t date someone who isn’t considerate.

Don’t date someone who isn’t interested in learning more about you.

Don’t date someone you can’t trust to be consistent.

Don’t date someone you can’t communicate with.

I hope this information was helpful to you. As a dating coach my goal is not to simply tell you how to find and keep a man. My goal is to equip you to recognize the man that’s worth the investment of your time, effort, and energy.