How to Improve Your Self-Confidence

The Event

I was talking to someone this week who told me that she’d gone to what she called a networking date with one of her girlfriends. The purpose of the event was somewhat two-fold in that while at the event you were given the opportunity to share your business ventures as well as meet a possible date.  

She went on to explain that since she’d never done anything like this, she was quite uncomfortable with the event. When she arrived, she and the person who invited her were given a ticket and told there was someone there with a matching ticket.

This meant that she’d have to explore the room until she found her match. Despite her friends urging she was quite reluctant to do so. Fortunately, the man with the ticket matching hers found her first.

Meanwhile, her friend was completely taken back by her shyness and wanted to know why she was this way. At that moment she couldn’t really say why but later on that evening she began to give her friends question more thought.

Flashback

She thought back to when she was in Middle and High School. Back in those days she received very little attention from boys. In fact, they seemed to ignore her. She recalled how this made her feel about herself and the affect it apparently had on her self-esteem and self-confidence. She also had two sisters who took pleasure in telling her she wasn’t pretty and exalted themselves above her. These two sisters of course never had a problem attracting the opposite sex.

After thinking back on all this, she realized she was reliving the past each time she needed to display confidence and her mindset in terms of how she viewed herself hadn’t changed from previous years.

Many of us are guilty of placing too much value on the opinions of others. When we do this, we allow others to define who we are.

Unfortunately, it’s very easy to be affected by the things people say. This negativity when carried into adulthood leaves us to believe these things are true and we never even take the time to question their assessment or opinion of us. Therefore, we subconsciously form an opinion of ourselves based on what others say.

The Project

So, let’s get back to my friend. Her friend, who took her to the event, gave her a little homework. She told her that she should go home and write down the things she likes most about herself and the things she does not like about herself. I thought this was a good idea because at least by doing this exercise these positive and negative thoughts and opinions would be revealed.

You’ve heard the saying, “You are your biggest critic. Assuming this is true, the most advantageous thing to do is to throw out all the negative thoughts and opinions of yourself and focus only on the positive.  

Good News

The process proved to be very beneficial. It had helped her to see herself and better understand why she was so shy and passive when meeting new people particularly men. Furthermore, she was able to see that she’d attended this event with very little expectations due to low esteem.

So, my advice to you is wherever you go and whatever you do - do it with an air of expectancy. What is this air of expectancy? An air of expectancy is an attitude that assumes a positive outcome. When you wear a positive attitude your’e ready to embrace new experiences as well as allow others to discover all that you have to offer.