10 Red Flags of Dating Pt2
We discussed in Pt 1 the first 5 “Red flags.” We’ll continue with the next 5 and then a few extra thrown in for good measure.
Let’s begin by saying, If you meet a man who does not want to join his world with yours, this can be considered a red flag. Anyone who wants to spend time with you should also be proud to show you off to the world.
If there is any reason or situation that prevents dating in the traditional or usual fashion, it may be wise to put it off until such time that it can be done properly.
When a man shows an interest in you and approaches you for the purpose of dating, it is naturally assumed that he is a stable and eligible individual. The true reality is - he may not be.
You see, the problem is that not all men who approach you are suited for dating and marriage - leaving you to figure out who’s who.
So, here are a few more factors or “Red Flags” that may complicate your dating experience.
1. He’s married. This status immediately disqualifies a man for dating, regardless of his circumstances. Whether he’s in the home or out, this situation could be long-lasting, complicated, and emotionally draining, especially when there are children involved.
I’m sure you’ve heard of women that have been involved in these triangle affairs. if you do, you must also know that these affairs hardly ever work out to their advantage.
What is the goal?
The goal here is to date someone that is as free and available as you are – not someone who has limitations and restrictions on their lives or someone you can only see when they’re available.
2. He’s living with someone – Ok, who is it he’s living with, why is he living with them, and how long will he be in this situation? After you find that out then you can decide what to do.
3. He doesn’t call –We’re living in an age where people no longer call – they text. I personally think this texting thing has gotten way out of hand but that could just be me. I don’t think there’s a substitute for actually hearing a person’s voice over the phone. But since it is what it is, they’ll still have to be some rules. For instance, give him the opportunity to call or text you. If he doesn’t reach out to you that should be your queue to move on. Even if he’d been a frequent caller in the past.
4. You don’t have a clue where he lives. – You’ve been out with this person several times, and he has not revealed his place of residence. I suggest asking where he lives because you need to know what his living situation is.
5. He’s not working – There are times in life that we all experience setbacks and have to work our way back into the main stream of life. However, everyone should be able to give an account for what they do and how they earn money to live. People earn their living in many ways. Knowing this information will give you an idea of how much they earn and how stable they are financially as well as the legitimacy of their earnings. If a person has been on the job for a long time or has worked consistently over a period of time this status contributes to their overall stability.
6. He doesn’t drive and doesn’t have a license. – This is not a problem if you live in a city like New York where mass transit is the order of the day. But public transportation isn’t like that in most places making a car more than just a luxury but a necessity. In most cases it’s rather difficult to date without one. Of course, now there’s Lift and Uber but there’s nothing like the feeling of independence that comes with having your own car. I wouldn’t necessarily say that not having a car or a license disqualifies him but it may be an inconvenience. There could be a whole host of reasons why he doesn’t drive such as his license may be temporarily restricted, or he never took the time to acquire one. Whatever the case may be – it may result in you doing all the driving. You may not want to do that.
We have to remember too, that a driver’s license is not just something that allows us to drive - it is also a necessary form of identification.
7. He makes promises he doesn’t keep.
We’ve all been here. For example, he repeatedly says he’s going to call, visit, or meet other previously arranged commitments. However, he doesn’t and also fails to offer any explanation. This may suggest an overall lack of concern and consideration and may even indicate an inability to tune into reality. Hopefully, it’s none of the above and is just a case of poor memory.
8. He has excessive phone use.
I’m aware that this is the modern digital era, and we tend to be more distracted with gadgets, but excessive texting or cell phone use is very rude and inconsiderate while on a date or in the company of others. It shows a lack of attentiveness. We are at the point where much communication is done by text. This has advantages and disadvantages. The advantage is that texting eliminates the need to place a phone call at times when only a brief message is needed. The disadvantage is that texting robs us of the benefit of actually hearing a person’s voice. It is very impersonal and provides avenues for avoidance and escape.
9. He has excessive internet use.
Too much time on the internet can become an addiction and rob you of life. Many men have become involved in questionable internet activity that may be of concern. The internet life for one who is addicted is one of fantasy, which causes an individual to lose touch with reality. It isn’t difficult to recognize a person who is addicted. This person is the one who spends more time on the internet than interacting with real people in the real world.
These are just a few of the red flags you may encounter when dating. Some are less severe than others. However, when we allow these situations to play out in our lives, it leads to disappointment and discontentment.
Tip Review
Date someone who’s socially, emotionally, and financially available. Don’t compromise and don’t find yourself working around someone else’s schedule and agenda.